Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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