Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
