I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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