We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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