I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
