I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
