Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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