oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
