He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He? As in you personified your dick?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
