I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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