the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
This toilet bowl is my home.
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