last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
