I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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