remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
there is glitter all over my balls
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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