I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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