dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
