There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
