So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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