There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We had to coat check the pizza.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
