i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
