he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
