matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
