Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
