party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My feet surprised me
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
