You work out of a Hotel?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
