HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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