i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
