I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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