I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
