he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
