the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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