I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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