doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
