Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
