her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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