Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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