I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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