i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
