I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
This is my gift to your gina
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
