I could have mohawked her pubes.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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