Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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