I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
