I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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