I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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