Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
