If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
