he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
