Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
