Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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