i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
