a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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