he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
